Julie Burchill
Witch trials: JK Rowling has fought back against criticism from the trans lobby
Witch trials: JK Rowling has fought back against criticism from the trans lobby Credit: Invision

三级成人视频When we consider the phrase “Flaming June” we might think of the famous portrait by Frederic Leighton showing a sleeping woman in an orange dress that Samuel Courtauld once called “the most wonderful painting in existence”. But the June we’re living through now isn’t a month of sensual slumber and molten gold sunsets. It’s a conflagration of sensibilities as one cultural artefact after another – from the sublime to the ridiculous – goes up in flames lest it offend some petulant cry-bully. This June will be remembered for the vanity of the bonfires.

As luck would have it, I’m writing a book called Welcome to the Woke Trials published by Constable in the spring of next year. You’d think that everything happening would make it a piece of gluten-free cake to dash off at top speed but I’m finding it something of an embarrassment (literally, for the perpetrators and capitulators when they look back on this shameful summer) of riches. Each morning I read back the previous day’s work – only to find that half a dozen new acts of idiocy have taken place while I slept. Writing this book feels like the fabled painting of the Forth Bridge: no sooner completed than in need of attention once more as you see a bit you’ve missed.

Little Britain (blackface), Fawlty Towers 三级成人视频(“racial slurs”), The Dukes of Hazzard (Confederate flag). One Little Indian record label to become One Little Independent – the whole lazy lip-service aspect of virtue signalling summed up gloriously by the NME headline “One Little Indian change name to help fight racism”: yep, that seems sensible, never saying the word “Indian” again will surely defeat one of the greatest evils on earth. Gone With the Wind. DAVID ATTENBOROUGH! I’ll leave it there, but by the time you read this it’s a fair bet that something which made you think or made you laugh will have been cancelled or castigated for fear of attracting the wrath of a group of people who appear to have a deep distrust of both thinking and laughing.

三级成人视频Monstrous regiments of Violet Elizabeth Botts have joined the Stasi and started up a series of deranged sideshows detracting from the very real ills of a society with a risible level of social mobility all across the colour chart – white working-class boys do worse in education than any other group, don’t forget. The star turn of these witch trials is, of course, J K Rowling, who has nothing to do with racism but who has attracted the considerable ire of the small, well-financed, extremely loud trans lobby, who have never seen a drama that wasn’t about them, even if it was the killing of a black man in Minneapolis.

三级成人视频After a period of attempting to placate the geek chorus, Rowling was recently reborn as a fearless and funny feminist who responded to the proposed book-burning of her Harry Potter bestsellers with: “Whenever somebody burns a Potter book the royalties vanish from my bank account. And if the book’s signed, one of my teeth falls out.” That the Harry Potter actors who turned on her are from privileged backgrounds while as an impoverished single mother she once wrote in cafés as she could not afford to pay her electric bills (and went on to drop from billionaire to mere multi-millionaire status due to the sheer amount of money she gave away) has made the situation even more grotesque. This is a generation coddled by stupid mothers who treated their offspring like royalty and chauffeured them everywhere – even to climate-change protests. They could do no wrong and even when they failed at something they were praised.

Don't mention the war: the egregious Fawlty Towers episode Credit: BBC

They believe they’re special due to social media where you can get affirmation for simply being as opposed to doing; the funniest thing I’ve seen during the Rowling affair was a social media pile-on by thwarted Harry Potter fans in which a horde of no-marks opined that this self-made super-successful woman should educate herself simply because she knows the difference between fairy tales and facts and they don’t. Told by their thick parents how perfect they are since birth, these moaners totally lack the inquiring minds that inspire art and culture; they’ve never heard the word “no” but ironically “no” is all they contribute to the world.

三级成人视频When I was young, how we mocked Mrs Whitehouse! But she asked merely for the nine o’clock television watershed, which anyone who isn’t a dribbling sex-pest approves of. It’s interesting how drill/gangster rap music and pornography are perfectly OK with the woke, despite their depictions of black men as thugs and women as orifices, the effects of which on their somewhat inadequate fans may well be less than healthy. It’s savagely amusing how women have had to put up with repulsive rap lyrics calling them bitches and whores for decades without rioting – and now we’re informed by anti-racist statue‑daubers that Queen Victoria Woz A Slag.

David Bowie also had a problematic past Credit: Hulton Archive

But where there is destruction there will be pushback – and the violent virtue signallers are going to get a whole lot more than they bargained for. As the black social commentator Mo Kanneh tweeted over a photo of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty: “This is all going to negatively impact on black people – we didn’t ask for, or want, this cultural purge.” Maybe I’m an old cynic, but I sense that a backlash against blameless BAME citizens isn’t the first thing on the collective mind of the culture trashers; the heady dopamine hit of their performative rebellion almost seems like a grab-back of attention on the part of a highly entitled group piqued by the communal appreciation of front-line workers over the past three months. It’s almost like the bourgeoisie can only stand the actual working class getting credit for being the really important people who make our society work for a few weeks – and then it has to be all about them again.

三级成人视频What I coined “The Big Sulk” (Le Bouder Grand) has been going on ever since the working class refused to vote on Brexit the way their betters and bed-wetters told them to; now it has transformed into The Terrible Toy‑Throwing. But let’s try to think well of them; Christopher Hitchens’s great line of the Not In My Name mob – “The silly led by the sinister” – is surely applicable. The majority are more moronic than malevolent and one expects the young to be daft – I certainly was, though as I recall I was keener on experiencing things rather than banning them.

But now that I’m old, I’m no stick-in-the-mud. So here’s a suggestion: in the interests of harmony and time saving, shall we just cut to the chase and ban everything – every book, film and TV show, reinstating each one in turn only when a worldwide referendum has established that no one in the world is offended by them? Because surely if some people are offended by a statue of a man who led the armies that defeated Hitler, then they can be offended by anything; I fully expect Flat Earthers to start pulling down statues of explorers soon. Swan Lake has the good white swan and the bad black swan, David Bowie三级成人视频 had sex with under-age girls, Manet used prostitutes, John Lennon used the N-word and Dickens was mean to his wife.

Will Swan Lake be the next to go? Credit:  Robbie Jack - Corbis

三级成人视频Yes, there will be a huge void where entertainment used to be, even before we take into consideration the research from Oxford Economics released yesterday on behalf of the Creative Industries Federation, which shows the projected economic impact of Covid-19 on UK culture and the creative industries. Over 400,000 jobs will be lost and there will be a revenue drop of £1.4 billion a week, the creative sector being hit at least twice as hard as the wider UK economy; some creative sub-sectors such as music and film will be hit even harder, with half of all jobs expected to go. Also announced yesterday was the parking of four of the biggest ever musicals – Mary Poppins, Phantom, Les Mis and Hamilton – until some unknown point in 2021.

三级成人视频But I’m sure that Generation Bedwetter can easily replace all that with ukulele solos and social-distanced dancing flash mobs. So let’s give it a try – everything must go! Because it’s not like burning books ever leads to anything bad – is it?