三级成人视频

Diana: 'The lip is a little fuller and softer. The top teeth are more visible'
Diana: 'The lip is a little fuller and softer. The top teeth are more visible' Credit: TOM JOHNSON

A week has passed since my top lip was lifted. The swelling has not entirely disappeared, but is massively reduced. The stitches came out today, and although the incision is still visible as a thin, blood-red line across the bottom of my nose (suddenly, I am so grateful that we all now wear masks!), the final shape of my new mouth is clear.

Then again, it’s still in most respects my old mouth. My bottom lip was not touched, and the Cupid’s bow line of my top lip, which I always liked, is intact. Nor have I had the faintest scrap of any filler or artificial puffing up.

三级成人视频All that has happened is that my top lip has been brought a couple of millimetres closer to my nose. It is nothing, really, and yet it has had the most amazing, feminising effect.

The lip is a little fuller and softer. The top teeth are more visible. Even I, the typical hyper-vigilant, self-critical, perfectionist transwoman, simply do not see a male face looking back at me from the mirror.

三级成人视频Mind you, it has been brought home to me lately that the rest of the world hasn’t seen that man for quite a while.

My lip job was set for 10am. So rather than make a super-stressful dash for an early-morning train, I came up to town the night before and stayed at a nearby hotel.

From the moment I walked through the door, the staff were calling me madam. There seemed to be something more automatic about it than usual, as if no one had to think for a second about what they were seeing and hearing.

The following morning, I went to the London Transgender Clinic in Marylebone for the procedure, leaving my overnight bag at the hotel. After the op, I went back to the hotel, flagged down a cab and dashed into the hotel to pick up the case.

三级成人视频The doorman said, ‘Can I help you with your luggage ma’am?’

三级成人视频I, not yet used to being someone who might need help with a small piece of luggage, insisted on carrying it out to the taxi myself. That was silly of me, because, even after a very, very minor op, I shouldn’t have been carrying anything. But the point was, the doorman had asked. Even if his real motive was probably just to get a tip, still, he was certainly, in his mind, speaking to a woman.

三级成人视频I climbed into the taxi, asked to be taken to Victoria station, and we drove off. After the cab had made 
a few turnings down various side streets, I got the very strong impression that we were heading away from, rather than towards, our destination.

三级成人视频‘Excuse me,’ I said to the cabbie. ‘I asked for Victoria station.’

‘That’s right, madam,’ he replied.

三级成人视频‘But you are not going in that direction.’

‘Would you like me to take another route, madam?’

Before I could reply, I saw a road sign dead ahead. It said ‘Park Lane’, which is precisely the right road to take down to Hyde Park Corner, en route to Victoria.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ I blurted. ‘Keep going just as you are. I got my directions muddled up.’

‘That’s all right, madam,’ he said. ‘Don’t you worry. London can be very confusing.’

三级成人视频Now, maybe the cabbie’s tone was a fraction patronising, but it was friendly and even sympathetic, which he would not have been had I, as a man, questioned his professional aptitude. He might have remained polite (although some wouldn’t), but his back would have been well and truly up.

三级成人视频A woman’s confusion, on the other hand, was no threat to him at all. And as I was sitting on the train home, a realisation hit me. The difference I had experienced was not that other people were treating me like a woman. It was that I actually felt like the woman to whom they were reacting.

三级成人视频Transwomen are obsessed by ‘passing’ as female, but their hardest task is passing to themselves. The huge change that has just happened, the switch that has well and truly flipped, is that I now do that.

I’m Diana,三级成人视频 and I’m female, and that’s the most amazing thing to be able to say, and, even more, to believe.

Read more: 

My transgender diary: 'I’ve got 40 years of shoes and frocks to catch up on'

My transgender diary: 'As a woman, men talk over me and ignore what I have to say'