'My partner’s parents won’t keep their noses out of our financial affairs' 
I feel this is overstepping the mark; he seems to think that it’s acceptable as it “shows they care” Credit: Rii Schroer/ kaja merle for the telegaph

Dear Richard,

三级成人视频My partner’s parents are constantly asking about our finances. I feel this is overstepping the mark; he seems to think that it’s acceptable as it “shows they care”, but what happened to just asking how we are doing in life in general? That would show they care.

三级成人视频We are both in secure, well-paid, full-time jobs; we have a happy, healthy little boy, a roof over our heads, full bellies and clothes on our backs. Yet they question our finances.

Why? If we were in fact struggling, I am pretty sure that my partner would inform them. I don’t want to sound disrespectful by asking them to stop. However, I feel disrespected. Am I in the wrong?

– Kate, Cheshire

Dear Kate

What a peculiar obsession for this pair to have. I’m completely with you: I, too, would find it intensely irritating as well as mystifying. You are, as you say, comfortably off, secure and happy. Why this preoccupation with the state of your finances?

Your partner’s relaxed reaction at least indicates that there’s no malice or ill-intention behind these interrogations. Perhaps they’ve always been like this and he’s used to it. But yes, it has to stop. I have two suggestions for achieving that.

三级成人视频Next time they quiz you about the state of your bank balance, simply turn it round and ask them about theirs. How are their pension pots doing? Is there much left on the mortgage to pay off? Has lockdown meant they were able to save more? How’s their income stream doing these days? Are they carrying much debt? And so on.

三级成人视频That’d be fun, but of course I’m being somewhat mischievous. You’re probably best taking one or both of them to one side and just getting straight to the point. Say you genuinely appreciate that they care about your financial welfare but there’s no need to worry and you’d prefer it if they stopped raising the issue.

Promise that if you ever do get into difficulties, they’ll be the first to know. Then change the subject, quietly but firmly. They’d have to have tin ears not to get the message.